Protected: Disappointment

27 04 2008

This post is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:






Protected: Shinyuu

17 04 2008

This post is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:






Severely

11 04 2008

Severely. That’s the word that describes today. XD

This Spring Break has been awesome. Though at first, I thought it was kinda lame because Friday and Saturday, I work, so I thought I was wasting my free time since I can’t do much on those days. But let’s see… On Tuesday, I was so bored, I was playing Final Fantasy XII since I haven’t finished it yet. JinWon called me and we talked for a while and I told him that I was bored and just playing FFXII. He invited me to come over and play some old school N64 games. So after taking care of some errands, I went to his house. We played for hours… I found some new interesting cheats for Mario Kart 64. XD Then we got addicted to Mario Tennis. DAMN, that was so much fun. We’ve developed a pretty damn good strategy. I had to go eat dinner at my mom’s house, so I left to go do that. It was pretty frustrating being with her, but whatever.

Then on Wednesday, I went to the DMV with JinWon again to get our driver’s licenses. I needed to renew mine and JinWon lost his, so he needed another one. Apparently, he loses his every year and uses it as an indicator for how he looks each year. XD Fascinating! Then we played tennis with Tiger at COM for a while, but then we got really hungry. We went ahead and had a late lunch and then I took them to Tiger’s house. I went back home to get ready to go karaoke with Michael, Tiger, and JinWon. Pretty damn exciting! So I picked up JinWon and Tiger again and we all went to Michael’s house. Michael was so happy to see us (or rather, me…?) and off we went to Oakland. It was kinda weird because Michael kept asking me personal questions and I had to be honest because I don’t want to lie to these guys and plus, they value honesty more than anything. But some of the things he said was just straight up awkward to talk about. We arrived to this really awesome Korean restaurant that is apparently called the… Drum Pigs. XD There’s an interesting story behind it, but whatever, the inside was so awesome! Since everyone else is fluent in Korean, the waiter assumed that I’m Korean too. But when I said, “Thank you” instead of “Kamsa hamnida”, he was kinda shocked. XDD Damnit. So Michael kept pushing me to practice my Korean to this waiter, but I really only know useless phrases. XD We ate grilled meat and we also had the… Potato soup? (They liked the phrase, “Potato nabe”, but unless you know Japanese cuisine well, it doesn’t make much sense.) But in any case, it was SO delicious. *_* Damn, I wanna eat at the Drum Pigs again. I tried out a little bit of Korean beer. It was alright, but I’m not a fan of beer in general.

After dinner, we went to karaoke at Jaguar karaoke. It was a small little place. Their machines were similar to the ones at Doremi. In fact, it’s the same brand, I think. But this was updated. There were quite a few Japanese songs, but it was still kinda difficult to find songs I knew enough to sing. It was damn fun though. JinWon sang a bunch of songs with me. During Pop Star, I could hear Tiger and JinWon singing along with me. XDDD That made me happy. Michael is a damn rock star. It was awesome listening to “She’s Gone”. Wow, it just amazed me. “OH LADY… OH LADY…!!” Then as the last songs, we sang “Run to You” and “Driver’s High”. XD Ah, damn good. “CRASH! Into the rolling morning… FLASH! I’m in the coolest driver’s high~” I got some frikkin awesome videos.

Afterwards, we went back to Michael’s house where he challenged JinWon to a beer drinking contest. I could just tell that it was bad news, but there was nothing I could do since Michael’s so stubborn, so they drank. JinWon wasn’t really bothered by it other than the fact that beer makes him full, rather than drunk. So Michael was being teased by this statement and kept drinking drinking drinking. XD He kept asking me more personal questions and made the atmosphere very awkward at times. In the middle of the situation, Tiger just kinda left the living room and went into the other room to use the internet and talk to Christine and Minji. JinWon and I were stuck with Michael and wow… He said some pretty weird stuff. JinWon kept telling me not to worry because he’s just drunk. XD I mean, I understand that he was drunk, but I’ve never encountered a person who asked so many strange personal questions while drunk. He kept telling me that he loves me and that he wishes so much that I was his little sister because I’m so cute. XD I’m flattered in a way, but also not sure how to react.

Then after a while of Michael talking all the time, JinWon and I started a conversation and while Michael was listening, he fell asleep… While sitting. I guess he had too many beers. XD So we cleaned up the house and JinWon dragged him to his bed. It was kinda funny and nice to watch JinWon carefully put him on the bed, even though he put him in a weird situation almost this whole night. Then we went outside to chat a bit and then I took JinWon home. We had a conversation about our relationships with people and I’ve grown to appreciate his friendship even more. He called me his best friend and I was very happy about that. Because I think of him as my best friend too.

I wonder how Michael’s gonna react once he figures out that he lost to JinWon at the drinking game. I hope the things he asked me are a blur to him. But for some reason, I have a feeling that he clearly remembers it all.

Ah, okay, time for me to sleep, I’m very tired. I still need to do my Stats, Speech, and Japanese homework though… Damnit.





Worthless Apologies

5 04 2008

Whoa, WordPress is all… Different looking. WEIRD.

Anyway, uh, what the hell was I gonna say?

Sunday is Rainbow’s birthday party. It might be kinda weird because the other day, she asked me to help her with her art history paper and it was due the next day. I don’t really like having little time to help someone with their homework because then it eats up a lot of my own time that I might have needed for my own personal needs, but whatever. I agreed to help her. But that day, I was really tired that I didn’t go on the internet to read my email and I just did my homework and went to bed. The next day, she calls me and tells me that it’s due right then and there. I felt bad that I totally forgot and I offered to help her with it during that time and maybe she can turn it in later that day. So I went to the Media Center to get what I thought was going to be the rough draft of her paper. When I read the email, there’s only a picture attachment of the painting she’s critiquing and a rushed message saying, “Thanks a lot for helping me out with a very last minute……It has to be a page long
I really appreciate your help”. Just from reading this, it was obvious that she was expecting me to write the actual paper itself. This immediately pissed me off and I texted her, asking if she hadn’t written anything for the paper. Then she came to the Media Center and I straight up said, “I’m sorry, but I’m not writing your paper for you.” She said that she wasn’t intending to ask me to write her paper and I’m misinterpreting what she’s trying to say and showed me a bunch of her previous assignments to “help me see what she’s trying to write”. Then she proceeded to tell me that she was expecting to see my email in the morning, but it wasn’t there and she got to school and the assignment still wasn’t done because things happen and that’s life. But she had to go do a presentation in art history, so she quickly left. I just kinda sat there for a good two minutes, completely baffled. Then I looked at her previous assignments and that doesn’t fucking help because they are for past assignments. She still didn’t even make a rough draft and she didn’t have any outline for this assignment. If she really didn’t intend for me to write the paper, why didn’t she at least write out some contents? Why didn’t she call me to ask if I could help with brainstorming? Why didn’t she call me to make sure I remembered to help her out? I mean, it’s not my assignment. I am not responsible for it. From what she said, it almost seemed like she was partly trying to make it my fault that this happened.

Well, since I was left with no choice, I wrote the paper for her. She came back later on and thanked me for saving her ass and that she’s sorry that I ended up writing it. I was just really annoyed, so I gave her one word answers and told her to go before she gets in trouble with her teacher.

During this time period, I couldn’t do my Statistics homework and I didn’t get to eat my lunch. But as she said, things happen and that’s life, right? Yeah, whatever.

Then later on, I was drawing Mt. Tam for art class and I sat outside by the cafeteria. Then Chi and Rainbow came by and Chi said that she’s the mediator and tried to “explain the situation”. What? I don’t need a translator or interpretor, I know exactly what happened. Chi wasn’t involved, it was me and Rainbow, why is she getting into it? Well, Rainbow thought that I was misunderstanding her intentions and didn’t want me to think that she’s just the kind of person who wants people to do her work for her. No, I’m not misunderstanding anything. Sure, her intention may not have been for me to write her paper. But what was the result? I DID END UP WRITING IT FOR HER. If Rainbow was that concerned about what happened, why didn’t she come up to me and tell me herself? Why does Chi need to tell me? I don’t need to hear it from Chi. I just really felt even more shocked by this. I didn’t want to bother with it anymore because I was drawing, so I just said whatever and pretended that I was all cool with it.

The truth is, I’m still annoyed that it happened. I mean, it happened and there’s nothing I can do about it. But just the way it was handled was so immature and unnecessary. There isn’t a misunderstanding. I know perfectly well what happened because I was actually part of the situation. If there would be any misunderstanding, it would be anyone who didn’t have anything to do with it making judgments on it.

It just pisses me off that I barely ever ask for anyone to help me and then people do shit like this. If it were me, I’d rather not do the assignment at all than to ask someone to do it for me. Call it having too much pride or whatever you want. But it’s true. Why should my responsibilities be someone else’s?

ANYWAY. It’s over with.

And now, I’ll go to bed.





Brown Eyed Soul

4 04 2008

Brown Eyed Soul is a really talented R&B singer. JinWon really likes his songs. But the other day, he asked me what Brown Eyed Soul means… I couldn’t really answer him and he was like, “Damnit, doesn’t make any sense!” I tried to say something to defend Brown Eyed Soul, but it’s true. Brown Eyed Soul may sound nice, but it really doesn’t make actual sense.

Nico got the Jabbawockeez mask and gloves. Wow, it totally improved his dancing image by more than half. XD It’s actually pretty hilarious. There are some YouTube videos, but he might kill me if I post them.

It’s finally Spring Break!! Let’s see… I have Statistics, Speech, and Japanese homework. Not bad.

Plans for this Spring Break:

Friday - Work
Saturday - Work
Sunday - Rainbow’s birthday party
Monday - Work
Tuesday - Great America?
Wednesday - Karaoke?
Thursday - Sonoma?
Friday - Work
Saturday - Work
Sunday - Nothing planned

Hmmm. I’ve been invited to go to Six Flags, but I kinda don’t want to go with the people who invited me. I want to go to the beach too… Damnit! I wonder if there’s something I can do before work… Or get off Saturday early and go out to do something… And I think there might have to be two separate karaoke plans due to the different friend groups… Frikkin Friday and Saturday!!





By This River

31 03 2008

I just bought two tickets for the Yoshida Brothers show on the 17th of May. Guess where I’m sitting? Table 3!!!

Hahaha, my dad and I are gonna be right in the front. :D Sweet! I love being a total nerd. The tickets weren’t available until like half an hour ago and I set an alarm for myself last week so that I can get the best seats available. I totally win. Okay, this time, I’m making an actual painting and I’m gonna do my best to give it to them. Since I’ll be next to the stage, it won’t be hard… Hopefully.

BUT I’M SO FUCKING EXCITED! XD Ah, I’m a loser and it’s awesome.

In other news, I’m screwed for my Astronomy lab class if the weather is cloudy tomorrow and I don’t find someone to copy the observations.

Arrrrgh.





Carpe Diem

25 03 2008

I’m fucking tired.

So I’m gonna waste my precious sleep time. (What??)
Read the rest of this entry »





Mu He

20 03 2008

I’m a little frustrated with life right now. I’m not sure what to do about it.

nightsky.jpg
I wish things were as peaceful and smooth as the clear night sky.

I’ve realized that the people that I’ve been hanging out/talking with, aren’t really people I want to be friends with after I transfer out. I take morals into great consideration when I shape my perspective on people. And just from the past few months, I have realized that some of these people and I have clearly different opinions on morals.

I do not tolerate taking advantages of people. No, it’s not okay at all. It’s never okay. This also includes stealing, cheating, and lying to benefit yourself because you are essentially taking advantages of their kindness. I’m so disappointed in myself to know that I forgave some people for these kinds of actions. But now, I’m absolutely disgusted to know that even some of the people who I considered one of my “closest friends” committed such inconsiderate acts.

I really don’t like crybabies. Ugh, please, don’t. Everyone has their own shit to deal with, don’t bring it to me because you think I’m carefree. If you’re gonna come crying to me about something, it better be something important because if it turns out to be something totally unreasonable, I will just point out how illogical you’re being and you probably don’t want to hear that from me. I just really hate crying.

I do not appreciate people with an ego. You’re the only one who thinks you’re so awesome. Shut the fuck up, save your reputation, and just accept the fact that you’re human. I swear, I can’t stand it when all someone talks about is themselves. This also includes people who break the flow of the conversation with some irrelevant fact about themselves. You’re not flattering yourself, you’re making yourself look like a DUMBASS.

Dependent people are one of the worst. Do I really have to explain? How do you expect to survive in real life if you can’t even handle the simplest of situations without an entourage of friends? If you keep asking for help on every little thing, they are gonna start disliking you and then you’ll have absolutely no one when you really need it.

Just because you’re like 1/16th of a race and don’t know jackshit about the culture, you look like a real dumbass to people who actually are of that culture when you refer to yourself as one of them and refer to the people as, “we”. People keep thinking that I’m only hanging out with the Koreans because I’m 1/4th Korean. Uh, no. A lot of them didn’t even know that I was part Korean for the longest time. I hang out with them because I like them as individuals, not because of their race and how “I feel connected to them through this relationship”. No. It’s not the ethnicity. It’s their personality. Don’t get me mixed with those people who are so shallow that they’ll base their judgments on race.

Agh, I really hate people sometimes! This is really one of those times.

I’m learning to be more honest to myself and voicing out things that I’m frustrated with. But a lot of the time, there’s just too many things I’m frustrated about.

I guess this is one of the reasons why I tend to hang out with people who are older than me. Immaturity is something I can’t deal with anymore. I’m too fucking fed up with dumbshits.





Corporate Ranks

13 03 2008

Dude, haha, I’ve been “officially” been accepted into the “business”. Though, I got the rank of secretary… Damnit. XD

Maybe I should explain this.

GiSu finally came to play tennis with us today. :) We played several games of doubles. It was JinWon and I versus GiSu and Tiger. Haha, we played like 4 sets or something and JinWon and I (Team Dijyu) won 3 out of 4. Nice. During one of the breaks, they called me the Korean word for secretary and I was like, “…What does that mean?” They told me that since I’m part of the group, I am the secretary cuz GiSu is boss #1, DY is boss #2, Tiger is boss #3, and JinWon is boss #4. XDDD I took JinWon’s old position since he was the youngest in the group before I joined. Since I’m the youngest by a margin of almost 2 years, it’ll be hard to move up… But anyway, I had fun in figuring out the actual ranks.

GiSu: CEO
DY: Chairman
Tiger: President
JinWon: Vice President
Me: Secretary

We told GiSu that he owes us $10 because he didn’t come to our previous tennis sessions. Then he told me the “activation fee” is $100 for the “company”… OTL DAMNIT! Hahaha. I want to figure out a name for our “company”. Mustard United? Crispy LLC? Dalgona Inc.? Hahaha, maybe I should ask the actual Koreans to figure out a name.

Ahaha, damnit, I just got off the phone with JinWon and he says in actual reality, we are both more like the paper pushers in the company. OTL Livelihood is our paycheck!! We have to work hard to go anywhere in this business… I don’t really have to pay the activation fee, but I need to open a bank account. XD WTF DOES THIS ALL MEAN?! And where did JinWon learn “paper pusher”?

But anyway, I thought about this and it reminded me a lot of Cultural Anthropology. (Wtf, it’s been a year since I took that class and I hated it.) Probably for the rest of my life, I will never really be considered an “equal” with them in the group because my ethnicity is only 25% Korean and my nationality is American. So I have much more leeway than any one of them and I’m not so expected to show as many traditional customs. Oh, also being that I’m the only girl, I probably have a little more leeway on top of that. So I guess I see what JinWon means by when he says that we’re both at the bottom.

There’s much more to this than I have written, but I’ll just keep that to myself.

Ugh, I’m not looking forward to my suicidal classes tomorrow… Damnit.





BREAD

8 03 2008

Aw, I miss the Korean boys and I’ve only gone a day without seeing them. :( JinWon called me today while I was working. I wonder what was up. And Tiger gave me the gift of correcting his essay… OTL What the fucking bread.

Work was INSANE. Oh God, Mike was supposed to be manager today, but he didn’t come in at all… He didn’t even call. We think that he forgot that he’s supposed to be manager, but he didn’t answer any of our calls and didn’t call back the whole day. So I’m a little worried. It was kinda weird because he’s a firefighter and there was this entourage of firetrucks coming into Robata and Akemi-san and I were expecting him to come out of one of them. Anyway, since Mike didn’t show up at all, Melissa and I had to fend for ourselves for a while and it was fine until it got busy. Oh man, then it got to be too much. We were annoyed that Fred was gonna come in, especially because I was so looking forward to NOT working with him. But actually, thank god he came because this turned out to be one of the busiest nights, EVER. We were still pretty full half an hour AFTER we had already closed. Jesus.

Well, I got my paycheck today and I’ll probably have to spend it on my car this weekend. I think the tire alignment is off and the brake discs need to be replaced. Ugh. I don’t want to bother, but then again, it seems I can get decent deals on them and it’ll boost the resale value for when I can buy a new car. OTL I just want a new car… This one’s giving me problems and I don’t have the frikkin time or resources to go without a car. Man, I hate people who have their parents buy them a car. DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH YOU HAVE TO WORK TO GET A DAMN CAR?! T^T Fuck.

Dude, a friend of mine broke up with her boyfriend for, what, the 8th time? I don’t get it. If you’re gonna break up that many times, duh, it’s not gonna last so stop wasting each other’s time and energy. I really don’t understand. Which reminds me, Kiyomi’s ex came into the restaurant today with her family. AWKWARD. But he wanted to meet me because Kiyomi talked about me a lot, apparently. XD Interesting! I love Kiyomi. I want to become closer friends with her. :) Anyway, boyfriends… Eh. At the moment, I’m pretty happy being single. I can do whatever I want with my free time without feeling restricted or obligated. And I can hang out with all of my friends as much as I want without complaints or fights. Haha, the single life right now is pretty chill.